Sunday, April 13, 2008

A Contest. Prizes. If We Can Think of Any.

............................................... These bastards ruined Springsteen's "Blinded By The Light."

Who came up with the bright idea that the Cure's "Lovesong" needed to be redone? That Roxy Music's beautiful "More Than This" needed a makeover? That the best chance for a hit lay in revisiting Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi?"

Well, I guess someone smarter than me because all of those did become hits of one sort or another. And I've heard at least two of those cover versions while shopping in the Food Lion on Brainerd Road, so they have probably insinuated themselves into the national consciousness.

But guess what? They all suck. They miss the point. I'd rather eat souse than hear them again. The first time I heard the original "Lovesong," I thought I had stumbled into a smoky club in East Berlin before the wall came down. When I heard the remake, I punched myself in the nuts. And I hope Adam Duritz is scraping the shit off himself somewhere right now for infusing Joni's song with all the depth of a GAP commercial. As for Roxy's original "More Than This," every understated musical note and Bryan Ferry croon was already recorded perfection, so why, why, why fill our ears with drivel?
But enough about me. This is actually an announcement about our first ever contest!

THE RULES:

1. What is the worst cover song that you have ever heard and why? How does it run afoul of the original? Send your song entry and explanation to bottomoftheglass@gmail.com.
2. If possible, attach the mp3 of the cover version with your entry. This is especially possible if you have a gmail account and are able to operate outside of a school or work network.
3. Contestants may enter as many times as the inspiration strikes them.
4. Entries must be received by 3:45am on Monday, April 28, 2008.
5. Winners will be announced whenever Billy's mom is ready to announce them. Prizes will be determined by the financial status of the bloggers. If possible, we will post the top three "winning" songs on the blog.
6. Bloggers and their immediate family members are not eligible to win, nor are employees of Krystal, which is little more than a cover version of White Castle.
7. In order to head off annoying clarifying questions, yes, Eric Clapton's covers of his own songs are eligible for the competition.

These guys got it right:
Fine Young Cannibals--"Suspicious Minds" (mp3)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Billy thinks this version sucks, but he doesn't realize that Roland Gift had a dream where Elvis told him to record the song. So there!