Saturday, May 17, 2008

Since Jesus Week Is Over, Let's Get Back In The Gutter With Another Contest!

The Challenge: What are the raunchiest lyrics you ever heard on mainstream radio?

The Parameters: The lyrics have to come from songs that people have actually heard. We're not talking about what you heard on WAWL at 2 AM, Hank! Stuff that slipped by, words whose special meanings maybe people didn't figure out at the time. And song lyrics, Billy, not double-entendres from some Tivo-ed episode of Golden Girls!

The Prize: A best of Hanson compilation CD compiled by our own compiler, Billy! And the cover and cd book will include rare photos from Billy's private stash of Hanson photos cut from teen magazines.


The Documentation: Make sure you let us know the name of the song, the artist, and, of course, the lyrics in question (in a slightly larger context, if necessary).

The Deadline: Like any of you will enter anyway. But if you do, how about gettin' 'em in by midnight, Friday, May 23rd? Enter by adding a comment or by emailing.

The Problem: I already have the winning entry in my head and I'm playing it over and over. Actually, that is a problem. I think I'll go to church.

4 comments:

Josh E said...

Am I the only one who loves these contests? Frankly, I think your blog is excellent. Please keep up the good work. Really.

Hmm...just about anything from the Classic Rock vault can be considered--since everyone knows classic rock is really all about BJs, handjobs and plain ol' gettin' it on. Consider the following short list of songs that are THINLY veiled (or unveiled) references to the aforementioned:

The Stroke - Billy Squier
Custard Pie - Led Zeppelin
Back Door Man - The Doors
Walk This Way - Aerosmith
Crazy On You - Heart
Whole Lotta Love - Led Zeppelin
Big Ten Inch Record - Aerosmith (seriously, almost anything written by Steven Tyler could be placed here, especially stuff from Toys in the Attic, which was apparently penned weeks after Tyler's first ever BJ and he just never got over it. I mean, Uncle Salty??? Good lord...)

Interestingly, to me, is what Chuck Berry was able to get away with (sorta...) in the age of the nuclear family: No Particular Place to Go (Ridin' Along in my Automobile), My Ding-a-ling, and It Don't Take but a Few Minutes.

I assume that Barry White is off-limits since he's fairly overt and only tends to appear on R&B stations in select cities. I'd say the same is true for a large quantity of hip-hop. That stuff makes Sir-Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back" seem metaphorically playful by comparison.

Bob said...

Josh, my personal fave is a Jefferson Starship song. Do you copy?

Chris Carpenter said...

I'm always embarrassed to sing along in the car with this one - raunchy come-on lines to someone who seems to be an underage virgin:

Well, Im hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
Im hot blooded, Im hot blooded

You dont have to read my mind, to know what I have in mind
Honey you oughta know
Now you move so fine, let me lay it on the line
I wanna know what youre doin after the show

Now its up to you, we can make a secret rendezvous
Just me and you, Ill show you lovin like you never knew

Thats why, Im hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
Im hot blooded, hot blooded

If it feels alright, maybe you can stay all night
Shall I leave you my key?
But youve got to give me a sign, come on girl, some kind of sign
Tell me, are you hot mama? you sure look that way to me

Are you old enough? will you be ready when I call you bluff?
Is my timing right? did you save your love for me tonight?

Yeah Im hot blooded, check it and see
Feel the fever burning inside of me
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
Im hot blooded, Im hot blooded, Im hot

Now its up to you, can we make a secret rendezvous?
Oh, before we do, youll have to get away from you know who

Well, Im hot blooded, check it and see
I got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on baby, do you do more than dance?
Im hot blooded, Im hot blooded

Hot blooded, every night
Hot blooded, youre looking so tight
Hot blooded, now youre driving me wild
Hot blooded, Im so hot for you, child
Hot blooded, Im a little bit high
Hot blooded, youre a little bit shy
Hot blooded, youre making me sing
Hot blooded, for your sweet sweet thing

Bob said...

Chris, you don't sound that embarassed: you're singing the whole damn song!!!