Thursday, May 15, 2008

What I Learned At The Drug Testing Center

Lil' Troy--"Baller" (mp3)

So I was starting a post about what it was like to be in the drug-testing center yesterday (I need the test to teach in Korea this summer) and these students came in with their final project, which was a rap song about society. After that, I was done for. I just went with the rhythm of their song. What were my results? You figure it out!


DRUG TEST RAP

CHORUS:

Yo, I done been tested,
I been inspected,
My pee been resurrected,
And I ain't infected.

No crack, no blow,
No THC,
No sugar cube, no Ecstasy!

And like Mandela
I'm avoidin' that cella
And I'm here to tell ya
I ain't no seller
No buyer neither
No Ropey-Dopey,
No Bear the Smokey,
No Midnight Tokey.

When I close that door,
They said, 'don't you flush,
'Don't you wash,
'Don't you touch
'Nuthin', touch nuthin'
'We waitin', we watchin',
'We listenin'
'To yo pissenin', pissenin', pissenin'

'Just bring that cup,
'We'll split it up,
'Half for the tube
'N half for the gov.'

Yeah, some bitch with gloves
Was holdin' my juice,
Making sure it's warm,
Not no substitute.

Then I pay my bills,
They say, '10 more'
'You want it overnight
'Stead of in-store'

Then they make me sweat,
Keep me up all night,
Wonderin' if I done wrong,
Or if I done right,
Or if I'm jus' unlucky
Or if they out ta get me.

CHORUS:
Yo, I done been tested,
I been inspected,
My pee been resurrected,
And I ain't infected.

No crack, no blow,
No THC,
No sugar cube, no Ecstasy!

And like Mandela
I'm avoidin' that cella
And I'm here to tell ya
I ain't no seller
No buyer neither
No Ropey-Dopey,
No Bear the Smokey,
No Midnight Tokey.

So if ya don't believe me
You can all jus' leave me.
Later, hater.

"Baller" became a major addition to my listening repertoire as a parting gift from Colby Rankin. Available at Itunes.

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