Sunday, July 20, 2008

Recurring Scooter Thoughts

Hangman's Reel - Christie Burns + Butch Ross (mp3)
Flashlight Fight - The Go! Team (mp3)

Billy is away on vacation for nine days, but he will begin his two vacation musings with this reflection on Scooter Life.

Without question, the brain works differently on a scooter as opposed to inside the confines of an automobile. This is even more true when said individual is new to the scooting experience. Below are a collection of the Top Ten thoughts, realizations, notions, that sprout from my mind when I'm puttering around the town:
  1. Bugs hitting your chest at 35 mph can leave a tiny welt. When they hit your face, it just itches.
  2. People like talking to people on scooters. So far I've had at least six different cars, next to me at a stop light, ask me one question or another. Whatever innate mistrust or fear we have of strangers must be negated the pathetic harmlessness of riding a scooter. (I mean, whoever heard of someone conducting a drive-by on a scooter?)
  3. Rain makes scootering more like an amusement park ride. Scarier, riskier, and more childish.
  4. This thing really gets 80 mpg! This thing really gets 80 mpg!
  5. I thought I'd miss A/C, but I don't. Even on 95-degree days with 100% humidity, the breeze is sufficient if you're not surrounded by metal and windows that have been simmering in the heat all day.
  6. Whether you want to be, and whether you care, you are officially a member of the Sons and Daughters of Two-Wheeled Motor Vehicles. As such, you must acknowledge all of your brothers and sisters when passing them on the open road. The preferred greeting is a left hand, lowered to the waist, in a kind of ZZ Top send-off.
  7. Rain also makes you blink a lot. I never knew I could blink that many times per minute.
  8. Dust just doesn't taste very good. Not in any of its legion forms.
  9. I'm much more attentive and alert to my surroundings and others on the road on a scooter. But that's 'cuz almost anything could kill or maim you.
  10. I can scoot down to Starbucks, order a Grande Caramel Frappuccino, stick it in the little glove compartment, and it will make it all the way back to the office without spilling a drop! I can even do it with a White Chocolate Mocha without spilling more than a few drops! It's like that glove compartment was made for shuttling coffee!
"Flashlight Fight" is from The Go! Team's sophomore album, Proof of Youth. "Hangman's Reel" is from Christie Burns + Butch Ross' album Here to Play. Both are available as's mp3 downloads, or The Go! Team is at iTunes.


Anonymous said...

billy and bob and whoever else is out there in your blogland...i'm in missoula, montana (alex likes to call it hannah missoula montana) at the southgate inn, a AAA approved very two star hotel that had the benefit of a 65 dollar rate and an outdoor heated pool and a hot tub only minutes from the university...little caesar's is, happily, ubiquitous so the girls are watching racing stripes and munching on cheesey goodness and we're all glorying in the landscape today. never doubt the benefits of the 50 states license plate game; i know that i'm a believer. and we now have the harmony, as well as lyrics, to the shed's entire cd (thank you, uncle bob!) and are angling for ways to parlay our talents into some sort of partridge family deal...hope all of you are well back in tn and we'll look forward to catching up real soon....i'm thinking that a only party is in order at some point soon...cheers from dick cheney's neck of the woods...

Bob said...

The hike to the top of the mountain in town is quite easy and fun, if you're lookin' to get the blood flowing before the next leg of the trip.

jennifer said...

I'd look into getting a scooter if I didn't live 20 miles from where I work, and my morning drive didn't involve toll-road-highway-type roads. So, I have my eyes on one of those Smart cars or at least some sort of hybrid in the future. When I actually have a teaching job :-/

Glad you're scootering around successfully! Enjoy your vacay.

Bob said...

So who is that dude in between the ZZtoppers? that's a very funny picture?