Sunday, September 5, 2010

... Got No Reason

The following is a guest blog from regular visitor Daisy, our first female guest-blogger.

I have recently come to the realization that despite my unbiased upbringing I am a bigot. I do not judge based on one’s race or religious affiliation, but I have to admit I am prejudiced against short men.

I don’t mind short men living in my neighborhood and often find them entertaining at parties, but if I had a daughter I really wouldn’t want her to date one.

First let me give you my definition of a short man: any man that is not taller than I am.

Now, I am 5 “4 on a good day if I stand up straight so even if I’m wearing heels it doesn’t take much to be taller than I am. I realize that my disdain for the smaller statured male is irrational, unreasonable even, but I just can’t help it. There is something about a fellow who is less than 5’8 that just isn’t right.

I first became aware of my distaste for diminutive dudes my freshman year in college. I out with a young man who was just as nice as he good be. He was well mannered, intelligent and kind. Things were just peachy the first two dates and on the third date he had a little too much to drink and asked me to drive his car. I got in and began to adjust the seat and the mirrors and then to my horror realized that they needed no adjustment. I was so disturbed by the notion that my date and I were the same height that there was not a fourth date.

Years passed and I came up with a dozen different reasons for why that particular relationship was doomed; none having anything to do with my arbitrary small mindedness. It was at the least an isolated incident.

A new family moved in on my street and while I’ve know the wife for a little while now I just met the husband. I was almost speechless when I first met him because I was actually looking down at him (now I did have on my tall red shoes, but still!) I spent a good portion of the evening talking to this gentleman and was actually a good conversationalist and quite witty. Throughout the entire conversation I kept thinking inappropriate things like “how does his wife bare wearing flat shoes all the time?" and “what if their son is even shorter than his dad, how will he stand a chance in life?"

I feel horrible for having these thoughts, but I just can’t help it. There is just something wrong about a miniscule male. I am even starting to wonder if my dislike for Tom Cruise is really because of his Scientologist superiority or his subpar stature.

I fear it is too late for me. I am doomed to a life of bigotry. I only hope that my sons can grow up to be more open minded …and taller than 5”8!


cinderkeys said...

My first boyfriend was a little shorter than me. No biggie.

I have a friend who's shorter than 5'4. The height fetish thing really bothers him. He gets it the most from very tall women (not surprising) and very short women (buh?). I don't get it. If I were 5'3, I'd be thrilled to find a man I could talk to without getting a stiff neck.

Bob said...

Wow, I'm glad I play like I'm 6'6" with my Afro.

troutking said...

What's the point of this post? Humor? Insight? Absolution just for admitting one's predjudice? Hopefully something else, because I don't think it succeeds in any of the above.

Full disclosure, yes I'm under 5'8". Barely. But I like being on the short side. It's easier to be funny and no one ever asks you to help them move. Plus every inch over average height takes 2 years off your life expectancy, or so I've read.