Joe Jackson--"Real Men (live)" (mp3)
"A man who cannot use tools is not a man," says Willy Loman in Death Of A Salesman. And he was right.
I should know. I used the crap out of them today. And, guess what, I didn't use any pansy power tools. I used man tools.
See, real men who know how to use modern tools and who know what the right tool for the job is are wimps. They get out chainsaws to take down trees, which, to my thinking, is kind of like fishing with hand grenades. When they want to cut a small limb that is 14 feet up and their super-extended branch cutter has a red line that you are not supposed to extend beyond, they don't extend beyond. I do. Why? Because I simply don't know any better. Check that. Because I think that I know better.
Men like me who only venture out into big-boy world when we have to, when our property demands it, tend to fashion themselves "lawn care MacGyvers." That's right, we use things not for what they are really for, but for how we think we can use them. I don't know if that's because we don't really know what they are for, and some kid in an Ace Hardware shamed us into buying them because all of the men were, or if it's because we really are some kind of super-evolved beings who can look at a yard situation, know what we have in our arsenal, and put the two together in ways that none of the other billions of people on this planet have ever thought of.