Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Lamest Generation

Our House - Madness (mp3)
Good Pain - Live (mp3)

Do Baby Boomers know exactly when they sold their souls? Do they feel the emptiness inside them?

For me, the words “SOLD OUT” don’t conjure thoughts of of Phil Collins or Johnny Depp nearly so much as Baby Boomers.

n a recent guest op-ed for the Washington Post, Matt Miller writes, “At the federal level, seven dollars go to programs supporting elderly consumption for every dollar invested in people under 18,” Even when including the more education-heavy state and local government budgets, he notes, the elderly still receive $2.50 for every $1 aimed at those under 18.

What a bunch of selfish pricks.

And this is before all of the Boomers have taken their pension plans into retirement, where they will feed off these pensions not for the projected 7-10 years, but for more like 15, 20, even 25 years.

This is the generation that protested for women’s rights, for civil rights? This is the Age of Aquarius? People holding hands and looking out for the commun(ity) over the individual?

Their numbers were always going to be a challenge for our way of doing governmental business. Because they’re the proverbial “pig in the python” of our population, they were always going to drain a little more than any other demographic no matter where they were in their timeline.

But if you add to this challenge the fact that this group has become, bar none and indisputably, the most self-involved, self-important and selfish generation in the history of our modern world, the result is precisely what we’re seeing for America’s present and future: A group of Baby Boomer politicians who kiss their own demographic ass. A group of politicians incapable of cooperation or collaboration for fear of repercussions from... you guessed it, their fellow whiny Baby Boomers.

Nationwide, the Baby Boomer ego trip isn’t limited to a single party. In the South, I’m surrounded by selfish Baby Boomers who insist that they earned every penny of their money and that the gub’ment should keep forking out all those delicious promised benefits yet stop taxing them. On the coasts, liberal Baby Boomers -- and there’s more left Boomers than right -- want every penny of their pensions and entitlements and don’t care much what that does to future generations.

Pensions, by the way, they didn’t really pay for. I know this because my generation won’t get pensions. Most of us get to plan our retirements around nothing but a 401k. Which is like giving a baby a security blanket with Black Widow spider eggs in it. Know why? Because businesses are going broke paying out pension plans that weren’t properly funded, because the pensions were unfairly inflated on the backs of future workers.

I grew up listening to all this talk about how Generation X was weak for one reason or another, that we grew up in the Big ‘80s with all its worship of Gordon Gecko, big hair for both genders and synthesizers (and I’m sure these are all interconnected). We’re cynical and more easily bored. We’re less cooperative. Yada yada.

Well, Generation X is also the first generation that won’t be as financially well off as its predecessor. And guess who was at the wheel when this happened? Yeah, that’s right, Boomers. Y’all are the fucknuts who captained the Titanic, and we’re gonna be the ones who have to somehow right the ship once y’all forget your names and have to be fed your rice pudding by us and our children.

Boomers are just like the old people at every dying church in the country. You don’t care if the ship goes down, so long as it keeps doing things the way you like them. You’d rather sink doing things your way than to adapt and evolve. You’d rather hoarde what is yours than worry about others. And guess what? It's working. You're getting your way, and everything's falling apart. Happy now?

You went from Jesus Christ Superstar to Scrooge McDuck in less time than it took you to melt a couple of centimeters of our globe’s polar icecaps.

In the land where everyone screams about gettin’ what’s coming to them, Boomers have more voices, more votes, and more power, and no one can stop them from getting what they want. Certainly not themselves.

All their talk of selflessness disappeared about the same time they had to start saying No to Drugs.

If you’re reading this, and you’re a Baby Boomer, I’m sorry, but you’re part of a shitty generation. Whatever gripes you’ve made about my generation, or teenagers, or really anyone else? Take them back before lightning stikes you square in the reproductive organs.

Of course, there’s still time to redeem yourselves... but I’m not holding my breath.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

As always, enjoyed the post.
Wow, I didn't realize I was part of a shitty generation and now have to be very wary of lightning strikes. Of course, those organs don't work like they did back in the day, but still ....
Regards, Dave the Boomer