Sunday, January 25, 2015

Sometime You Get The Weekend You Need, Not The Weekend You Want

I cannot call this the best weekend ever.  I knew that going in.  School job responsibilities/obligations necessitated that most of my weekend went to the school-- as in, Friday night at a sporting event until past 9PM, Saturday morning back at school by 9AM to make up a handout for a 10AM admissions event, back on duty by 8PM to chaperone a dance that went until 11PM, plus cleanup and load out.

When I walked in the door at 11:30PM last night, I said to my daughter, "Let the weekend begin!"

But that wasn't really true.  Sometimes you get the weekend you need, instead of the weekend you want.  So, no, it wasnt a "fun" weekend in any way that I can quantify.  But it was the weekend I needed.

Why? Because I'm broke.  Oh, not in any serious, long term way, but in a 1st World kind of way, where I went a little too expansive during Christmas break and found myself basically out of money by the early part of January.

So the weekend I needed was one where I was so booked up with obligations that I wouldn't really have much chance or need to spend what few dollars lingered in my bank account.  Instead of social occasions, I was blessed to have my free time so tied up that I couldn't give in to credit card temptation, even if I wanted to.  And I didn't.  I had already given in too many times during the previous three weeks.

So, in the weirdest way, I am not complaining at all, even though this (Sunday) morning I had a hard time shaking the short night of sleep and convincing myself that I was really awake.

As a result, I argued more with my conservative father than I usually do on a Sunday morning at Panera and I argued with my loving wife on a Sunday night, which almost never happens.  Although I'm willing to blame me, I'm also quite aware that my state of mind after such a restrictive, exhausting weekend might have had a little something to do with it as well.  A weekend with both Friday and Saturday nights taken up by work might not seem like much at whatever your age is, but, trust me, at my age, it makes an impact. A negative one.

But, again, all of that is something I'm willing to embrace because it dealt with the larger problem of having no money.  I am limping into tomorrow night's payday, but I am still moving forward.

Sometimes the weekend you (and I) need is one that is busy and messy. One that you think will leave you alone come Sunday, but, because of the events of Friday and Saturday, there is no realistic way that it can.  You can't shake it.  It is going to bubble up.  It is going to color everything.  It can't help but.

So I move out of this weekend with both my energy and my relations a bit wounded, but not in any terminal way, and, in some weird way, the wasted, underwhelming Sunday that finished way below the expectations I felt last night leaves me with just enough of that intangible something to face the week ahead.  Which is just what I needed.

1 comment:

troutking said...

"If you try sometimes you just might find..."