Saturday, February 28, 2015

Jim Dandy To The Rescue!

The magic number is 12.  Gotta get to 12 posts a month in order to feel like a living, breathing, viable blog.  A small blog, maybe, but if you ain't got the new posts, if you let up, then people stop checking to see if you have anything new.  If you had a storefront, even if you weren't selling anything, if you were just giving out stuff for free, you would still need to have new stuff.  Even the Jehovah's Witnesses coming to your door and always finding you not home (or, more likely, cowering behind the curtains), they've got to have new tracts to let you know that everything you believe is wrong.

And so this blogpost.

Just cleaning up around here at the end of the month, looking through scraps and half-baked thoughts that never turned into anything.  Maybe 8 lost, forgotten, unrealized ideas make up a whole one.  That's what I've got for you, 8 random observations that have little or nothing to do with each other, and maybe nothing t do with anything at all.  Nevertheless, here they are:

1.  The "I will be out of the office, blah, blah, blah" automatic response email is an outmoded idea, if it ever made any sense at all.  So you are gone to a conference and can't be reached by email?  That's B.S.  I've been to conferences; everybody attending spends every spare, polite second (and many impolite ones) checking their messages, texts and emails.  Same with people on vacation.  You maybe physically away from the office, but you are still checking in.  The real message behind the automatic response is "Don't bother me."  Period.

2.  Siracha is jumping the shark.  Like its forefather, chipotle, its time as the "hot, spicy ingredient du jour" is winding down.  Once the bottom feeders like Subway, McDonald's and other fast food joints get ahold of it, there's not much creative left to be done with it.  Which doesn't mean I won't keep adding it to the white sauce I dip my chicken teryaki in.

3.  There are only two ways worth watching a movie: 1) in the theater on the big screen, even if the theater is kind of crappy or second-run, or 2) on a personal device like this one, maybe in the dark, maybe with headphones on.  Any other way undermines the value of the medium.

4.  I had two daughters go to the same all-girls high school.  Now they are alums.  We were parents.  Now we are parents of alums.  The school sends out its alumni magazine several times a year.  To parents, and alums,cand parents of alums.  To all of us.  At the same address.  Each issue comes in identical triplets.  Every time.  There is a better solution here some where.

5. Never tweet your Oscars food spread before the Oscars.  If you do, you might discover that because your cable isn't working, and because you downloaded ABC Go and because you tested it in the afternoon, and because every pre-Oscar show you watch on your iPad or Apple TV ONLY GIVES YOU A "cam," that ABC Go isn't available in your area to watch the Oscars, even though it never told you this when you set it up in the afternoon.  And so, you will never see the Oscars, and all you will have is your food in a disappointed room.

6. The latest in car rental:  enterprise steals a play out of the Valvoline playbook, in other words, they, too, are pushing the hard sell.  An Enterprise agent gets into the car with you, ostensibly to demonstrate the car's features, but really to insinuate himself into your cocoon in order to try to sell you their insurance.  Just like Valvoline's attempts to sell you all kinds of pricey products to go with your oil change, Enterprise has a 4-tiered insurance policy during your rental time period, a number of different ways that they recommend that you spend extra money.  I didn't go for it. But it was unpleasant.

7.  Do you trust fish?  Not everyone does, and for good reason.  Tilapia, they now say, is more dangerous health wise than bacon.  How can that be?  Well, tilapia, in most every restaurant. Is the farm-raised variety, and what those fish eat, including eating each other, makes them a premium health risk.  On top of that, some restaurants have fallen into the practice of tricking consumers into buying a fish that isn't really the fish that they say it is.  It's kind of like Hollywood, using Mexicans for Indians or Mexicans for Arabs.  They know we can't tell the difference.

8.  Lastly, the title of this piece.  Well, historically, it is a reference to a Black Oak Arkansas song from the 70's, a song I heard, didn't especially like, but, more than anything, had no context for.  I didn't know who Jim Dandy was; I knew little of Southern or Ozark Mountains music.  Also, of course, a reference to 12 posts in a month, to keeping this blog alive, to pushing hard during the last days of the month to meet a self-imposed quota.  I guess I'm Jim Dandy, the hero of my own myth making.  The problem now is that I write so much at the end of a month to keep things going that I'm burned out for the first half of the succeeding month.  It's a vicious cycle.


troutking said...

1. I agree, unless the message says I won't have as much access to email or as much time to respond. In that case, it can let the person know that your response may not be quite as quick as a normal work day. Especially if you pride yourself on responding quickly and usually do.

2. When you can get it everywhere it becomes less special, but still good. White sauce isn't everywhere, but it's still not good.

3. Yes, to theater. Anything else is lesser. Exceptions: funny, light movies can be enjoyed at home with a group. Also, very sad movies can be enjoyed at home so you don't have to pretend you weren't crying when the lights come on.

4. I got nothing.

5. Birdman over Boyhood? You didn't miss anything.

6. Enterprise is still the best car rental company experience.

7. Corporations suck. Bernie 2016!

8. Black Oak Arkansas is a bad name. As such, I've never heard any of their songs.

rodle said...

@troutking, I understand why you'd prefer the theater. It's always cool to take a nap there.

Robert Berman said...

8 good mini-posts, though! Count them separately for your quota. As for "Black Oak Arkansas," bands today have discovered that a name like "James" or "Travis" is a ticket to getting lost in the bowels of google. "Squirrel Nut Zippers" on the other hand never gets confused with anything.